It's okay, we still love you :) speak for yourself. I am. ;) %% i wish askjeeves was askzotfotpik o.o "where can i find a good cdr media?" "we prefer pricewatch." "no we don't, you twit." "then where do we prefer?" "..." "i dunno, i just .. ok . pricewatch." %% MC: rot13 simply takes each letter an rotates by 13. fvzcyl gnxrf rnpu yrggre na ebgngrf ol 13. %% All BARDs are inherently insecure %% Sorry, I'm just thinking of a guitar with a hydrogen fuel cell in it. %% I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours. [Stephen Roberts] %% there is one thing I really hate writing CGI scripts cgi scripts, and listening to brandon long %% old nick day! %% precmd() { xauth | addrumor} %% precmd() {xauth list | addrumor} %% meow/var/log% rumor -c 0 %% man: no entry for rumor in the manual. %% how can you avoid having shared rumors? it is inevitable, given enough entropy %% "did you sprintf or somethign?" %% * yohan sniffs a cantaloupe %% Saturday, I will pretend to go to Portland. ta: pretend? e5: Yes. how's that? e5: RPG. ta: they've made an RPG of powells? %% OK, all rumor quantities must be a power of two. %% I just convinced this recruiter to grow garlic. Now all I need is a job. %% The rumor file is not a relational database %% and 31337 doesn't mean eleet, i means sissy if you look closer %% at this rate, rumor is going to have more options than ls. or indent. %% MEAN PEOPLE RULE! %% Although, its good when people get in the way of a bad fuck %% Ok, so, to make things really weird, changing root passwrd worked this time. I hate life. I want a pony. %% you can buy your friends, but I'll hate you for free %% *** Signoff: TanAdept ("rar, I am full of angst and will express it in my quit message") %% "Join the army, we put the bullet hole in dot mil" %% lemme tell you something, a consumer doesn't give TWO SHITS how big you are as long as they can click on your site and get porn %% So, I *can* write "rumord" as a .jsp. %% I'm a way better fuck than ocean front property in arizona says the guy over the internet %% it's just a nonce. YOU'RE a nonce %% 957315215 #uiuc perl is a filthy whore 957315220 #uiuc Yes. 957315223 #uiuc But Perl is MY filthy whore. %% This channel is like talking to people who've been snow crashed. is that a reference to cocaine? No, it's a reference to _Snow Crash_. %% Why didn't we make $.25 the delimiter for rumor files? %% It's just like the A-Team...but with monkeys. %% When one cannot invent, one must improve. - gandalf rumor What one cannot tolerate, one must kill. %% Association wants to be free. %% Hey, if I had a cute lesbian cubemate, I'd do her. %% Will you keep your red snapper, or go for what's in the bra? %% murmur is having sex right now. eek %% nethack? i bet kevin mitnick wrote that! %% I feel oddly ok about myself right now hi, my name is chris and i'm ok my $chris = "ok"; %% Mark, I'm cutting you off your perl ration. Recite five Hail Marys and write a web server in Tcl. %% Threads + C. Alot like wild turkey + a .45. %% Christ, Mike. Go home. Oh, shit. *I'M* Mike. %% "hey, guess what I got for my birthday?" "what?" "A water-tobacco pipe." "Wow, do you have any water tobacco to go with it?" %% precmd() { echo the world needs more precmd rumors | addrumor } %% is unix out on DVD yet? hmm... why would it need to be? I want to get the director's cut why else %% "pooping?" "no, bunny." %% "everything east of the mississippi is essentially europe." %% Once upon a time, a king carried by his slaves wanted to cross a rope bridge. He called all his slaves and asked, "Is it safe? Someone go ahead and cross." All but one stared at each other and began to point and say, "Your excellency, send him, he is wisest and can tell you if it is safe." The poor slave pointed at another, and another. Finally, one said, "Let me go across, sire." Having crossed the bridge, he cut the rope. %% I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings. %% its interesting to note that "vi" in rot13 becomes "iv" %% You are not root! %% YOUR FAVORITE HOPS SUCK! %% speaking of quotes pages, you just made mine %% Brittney spears ought to do an old testament themed single "Smite Me, Baby, One More Time" %% this guy was doing a commercial for an animal shelter and all of a sudden the cat went bonkers, wrapped the leash around his leg, went up his leg, and sunk its teeth into his groin. %% bathroom conversations: When will people learn? %% "Oops, I Conquered the Philistines Again" %% Socialist name! * Lenin is a socialist today * Lenin will be a communist tomorrow %% while(this == DrumBeat) { Needle.put(CurrentRecord) } %% !Gaddrumor %% observe, Doctor Dre has procured from the city of Compton, some bitches. %% more litterboxes? there can be...oh, skip it. %% everybody involved refused medical treatment. except the drunk dude, and that's only if you count a breathalyzer as a medical treatment. %% I mean, h.p.o.ayn-rand.lick.lick.lick.moderated, really %% Violence is always the answer. no sometimes extreme violence is the answer %% *** meekay has changed the topic on channel #groogroo to SmooveB steals your rumors: $.25 %% I think my sister gave me a cold. better than the clap %% Blizack Nizews %% it's more like "sluverbubbermuvery wankwonkaphaltpery i wuuuuvvv yoooooo" %% Tom Christiansen asked me, "Chip, is there anything that you like that isn't big and complicated?" C++, EMACS, Perl, Unix, English-no, I guess not. %% "let's set up a potato clock and run NTP on it." "that's what, about stratum 19?" %% "Anyone know why named wouldn't load its zones?" "To get to the other side?" %% Music is not ART, it's industry. (c) www.xiph.org %% * Saxgod types 'man magic' * chris has that certain special 'man magic' %% Oh! I get it! %% PRIVACY STATEMENT: Note: None of our ordering information is given to third parties. You will not even be contacted unless it specifically relates to an order you've made. And since the OpenBSD group is not even commercially aggressive enough to get around to sending out reminders to previous CDROM purchasers please be sure to subscribe to announce@openbsd.org (a very low volume mailing list) if you want to receive at least minimal announcements about new releases. %% You *want* to a crappy rapper? aren't I already one? Oh yeah. Carry on... %% 2037035976334486086268445688409378161051468393665936250636140449354381299763336706183397376 %% is Brooklyn that boring that we should wait to sleep until we get there? %% I'm a unix systems administrator, I listen to loud techno, and I keep a couple of pet rabbits. Also, I tend to work on weird things in my spare time, like collecting odd domains. My personal web page is http://www.meat.net/~dbt/. %% So my political pen name has become Leftist Muppet also my political affiliation %% "I never let logical supposition get in the way of low brow humor." "I know. And i never miss a chance to fling around combat boots." %% ONE MILLION PESOS %% "ONE MILLION PESOS." "interesting." "Discussion of currency exchange and whores." "At least, I'm assuming it was whores." "Well, anne." %% "And I need some convincing that I'm relatively sane." "I may not be the best person for that." "No. But your cats are." %% * xiphmont is away: Hacker in Space! %% while the stone-coldness of steve austin is beyond debate, the rock has several weapons at his disposal. %% When they build the new DCL, they'll have to loosen a floor tile, and underneath it, inscribe, "Joe Gross never set foot on this tile". Then all the ACM posterity can wonder who Joe Gross was. Or at least, they can wonder until O&M glues the tile back down. %% I feel really 'leet when a rumor makes a reference to another rumor, and I know what that other rumor was without looking. Wait, scratch that. I'm lame. %% I just pipe my irc.log to addrumor %% #!/usr/local/bin/python from sys import*;from string import *;t,x,y,j,s,a=range(256),0,0,0,1,argv[1] k=(map(lambda b:atoi(a[b:b+2],16), range(0,len(a),2))*256)[:256] for i in t[:]:j=(k[i]+t[i]+j)%256;t[i],t[j]=t[j],t[i] while(s):s=stdin.read(1);l,x=len(s),(x+1)%256;y,c=(y+t[x])%256,l and ord(s);( t[x],t[y])=t[y],t[x];stdout.write(chr(c^t[(t[x]+t[y])%256])[:l]) %% Intercourse with men as we know them is increasingly impossible. It requires an abortion of creativity and strength, a refusal of responsibility and freedom: a bitter personal death. It means acting out the female role, incorporating the masochism, self-hatred, and passivity which are central to it. Unambiguous conventional heterosexual behavior is the worst betrayal of our common humanity (Dworkin 1974, p.184). %% [ simulated persona = "Ayn Rand", node #131, max search depth 63%, neural variance 11.919 ] A is A. [ simulated persona = "Michael Jackson", node #46, max search depth 14%, neural variance 27.417 ] A, B, C. Easy as 1, 2, 3. %% Harry comes into my office. "There's something I wanted to ask you yesterday, but I've forgotten what it was." "Check the CLASSPATH." *thinks for a second* "THAT'S IT!" *runs out of room* %% Also, there are dangerous Communists like Matt Williams and Amanda Maystead hanging about his mansion. %% "Some people in Texas don't suck -- how else do you explain Austin?" "That it's actually the lost city of Atlantis." %% "Which reminds me. I need to find someone to provide me a nice flogging." "if you wear a George W Bush mask, I'll whip you." "No, I need someone who can stop a the sound of a safeword." %% Fuck beer. I'm in more dire need of a blowjob than any man alive. %% CRY HAVOC, AND LET SLIP THE BATS OF WAR %% * Ch1XenZz talks George Ryan into a moratorium on obfuscated perl %% "...and so after I single-handedly saved three senior citizens, five infants, and a white swan from the deadly blaze, I then turned to George W. Bush, who had accidentally started the blaze while lighting his crack pipe, rolled my eyes amusedly, and said `You're such an incompetent doofus, you could be a politician!!'. We both enjoyed a hearty laugh, and then the next thing I knew he was governor of Texas." %% monkeys++ clowns-- %% You're just a little ball of undirected hate. Today it's cars, tomorrow it's going to be giant stuffed cows, or hanging beer bottles, or just about anything else that catches your eye. You love to hate and you're quite good at it. But the really weird thing is this: you actually hate yourself for it. Who would have guessed? %% I am now an employee of the matrix. dodge this. %% I want you to grab my firm bosoms and confirm their identity. %% That's a woman? I thought it was a muppet. %% mrw is in more trouble than Wilt Chamberlain at a Sex Addicts recovery program %% fuck. the t is starting to go again. I think I'm gonna cash in the Microsof keyboards again. and say "fuck you, microsof" %% y/monkey would yank up to the next monkey %% Groobot: don't crash I'm not falling for that bit again. %% June 26: I'm currently bumming around Europe. Anyone want to host a slightly smelly American for a few days? If so, email me at benjy(at)feen.com. In exchange for lodging I can offer my services as a writer, technical editor, English teacher, photographer, sysadmin, or dishwasher. Or I can just sit around and be random for you. %% Being a parent is going to be really weird. %% I must say, precmd () {rumor -l 3 } is lots of fun. %% never believe anything I say. %% "Let's cascade-rumor!" %% Why does "David, trying out the costume of the Queen of the Internet" link to Fat Bastard? %% ActiveRemoteWindowsMeetingScriptingHostPicturesX 2000 beta 4 %% he didn't get the "ride the snake" joke, even after I explained it. %% figz, Ya.. my ping freudian slip is showing.=) %% Attached is a proof-of-point exploit that, when placed in the header field of a message or MIME attached message, will download and execute an executable from the web. (In this particular case it will launch MS Freecell) %% i'd like to point out, especially to miss lease, miss lease, and miss lease, that i am currently testing on a machine named Grandia. %% Much 3DO about nothing. %% "Hey dad, look what I did to the cat!" "Son, I'm never giving you beer again." %% MAIN LOOP: Too many kitties. Bob Barker is sad! %% Furthermore, did Marx ever say that opiates are bad? Socialists (Marxists, at least, if we must distinguish) tend to be supportive of drug legalization. -- Arun Bhalla %% dude, I am a shit-ass roommate and I tend to leave the country on short notice %% Who's Christina Aquilega? %% If you do not see images or text above, download the Flash Player plugin from Macromedia. %% ``The Glove,'' he said, and you could hear the capital letters when he pronounced it, ``had never been washed. Ever.'' %% *** Signoff: dbt (Killed (irc.catch22.org (meow.raye.com <- irc.konkers.net[ircd@optimus.konkers.net]))) %% breastfeeding, uzi toting, camo wearing moms - just the way I like 'em %% "One way rentals from this location (DEN) into mexico are not allowed." "Damn, there go MY plans." %% "There's a mathematical reason not to trust Christians... The Buddhists believe that human lives repeat. The atheists believe that human lives terminate. That means that the Christians must believe that humans are irrational." "Not necessarily... they could think that humans are imaginary." "Of course Christians think humans are irrational: They believe humans are transcendental, and all transcendentals are irrational. I suppose that all we can be certain of is that humans are complex." %% "We always vote for the lesser of the two evils. But if we keep doing that, we will always have evil, and we will always have less." %% sure you don't wanna game tonight, Zach? :P no. ESPECIALLY NOT RPGing I'm practically gaming now since most of D&D is arguging about rules anyway %% Whoa, Java works under Solaris now? %% perl -i~ -pe 's/\r\n/\n/g' *.[ch] %% Your entry has been canaliculated. You must be cool or something. %% down with rumors %% put this in your rumorfile, fuckpants. %% Don't you love our youth? <[Ender]> Not legally, no. %% What we end up doing is really selling real estate. We've sold area on the silicon wafer for about a billion dollars an acre, that order of magnitude, as long as I've been in the industry. - Gordon Moore %% She dressed in chainmail bra and helm and leather boots of sexy taste; and bright red garb to overwhelm all men - a skirt slit to the waist. - Excerpt from "Arwen, the Warrior Babe" %% I am a rumor. I make no sense out of context. I am not funny. But people still put me in text files. %% "If I had a nickel for every time I've seen a Usenet poster slip in an ostensibly casual reference to how much smarter he/she is than everyone else... why, I'd be able to throw a party for all my Mensa buddies!" %% My boss theorizes that sturgeon's law has failed to properly adapt for the growing population. %% %stock ABUSE ABUSE No such ticker symbol. Try Symbol Lookup (Look up: ABUSE) What? I heard Abuse was down 40%. %% always, always vaginas %% "He's my husband," she said. "I just don't understand." well, it must be true then. Parents Just Don't Understand. %% * meekay suggests you take up a career chucking wood %% ooh, i have a Huge /scratch now... * meekay hands Ch1XenZz a huge /bandaid *** Unknown command: BANDAID %% there is no B in parallel port. %% well my machine doesn't have a parabola port. %% Note: salting the earth does not improve flavor %% To those who watched the closing events of the year it seemed more than probable that the Man of 1938 may make 1939 a year to be remembered. %% qotd stream tcp nowait nobody /usr/local/bin/rumor rumor -t %% -atf should burn down extremeist compounds %% the two parts are about .25x.25x.1" ... %% I should just go camp out on cisco's front lawn and shout questions at people as they walk by. pretty sure michael moore has already done it %% "Only a fool would subject themselves to questioning by seven investigators as some sort of publicity stunt," Wood said, adding that his clients were not fools. %% re tard. %% I have spent the last two hours trying to get 5 disks to read/write. Floppies are evil. Especially old ones. %% nebcorp rules my world. (literally) %% while true do man sh done %% The cleanings shall continue until the moral improves. %% faggot up, faggot in, let me begin HUMP AROUND! HUMP AROUND! HUMP UP HUMP UP AND HUMP DOWN! %% Oh right. People are gonna volunteer to stop having sex. Where do I sign up!? Didn't you already? %% Diuretics: The science of matter over mind. %% mysql> select * from smtp_survey where banner regexp "Umgah" -> ; Empty set (6.77 sec) %% Sequitors are for quitters. %% you can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake %% trip like I do %% www.godhatesfigs.com %% uncaught exception! program terminated. Adam: Don't you know? You gotta catch 'em all! %% zack, stop rumorwhoring. =) %% did init_keytry.h from libcurses get removed? thou shalt make depend, lest thy files be missing %% According to (4) in the Appendix, achieving 90 bps/Hz requires a minimum SNR of 271 dB or a minimum Eb/No of 251 dB. %% remember: fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life. which means that I need to shed 30 pounds. %% Scissors cuts Paper covers Rock crushes Lizard poisons Spock smashes Scissors decapitates Lizard eats Paper disproves Spock vaporizes Rock crushes Scissors. %% If NNTP had a protocol extension for administering a spanking (long overdue if you ask me), you'd be yelping right now. %% DHMO is a major component of acid rain. %% "They made their cake, they can lie in it." %% YOU'RE an abstract unit of thought %% I just pray that Bush's impeachment comes swiftly and without great pain %% There's only two kinds of class. "First" and "No". -cvk %% "So far they have generated several web sites, IRC channels, a DTD for the glossary for the documentation, two years of mailing list traffic, and an adder that someone donated." %% OG: The rumor %% think before you saw %% I'm noticed "amihotornot" is more a rating system of how undressed a person is almost naked ugly women get high marks, while fully clothed beutiful ones get low marks which is funny, cuz i guess that would really be "amicoldornot" %% You can't even run BSD 4.4 on a vax! %% Dick Cheney looks eerily like Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's %% gaming chicks have +4 vaginas! %% You killed Warren. I'm telling. %% so I saw Steve Ballmer today in his skivvies %% That works so much better with CAPS LOCK. %% Jobs are not pokemon. You do not need to "catch them all." %% The Holidays are here and it's the perfect time to pre-order your HOLIDAY TAMALES %% This family owned business "EL AMIGO RESTAURANT" is ready to serve you with your Tamale order. %% Our HOLIDAY TAMALES are perfect for family gatherings, so this HOLIDAY make dinner a hit with our HOLIDAY TAMALES. %% Pre-Order Your HOLIDAY TAMALES NOW! %% HOLIDAY TAMALES sold at $15.99/dozen.Your choice of Chicken,Pork,Veggie or Dulce (sweet). %% Is that a band? TLS with the Null Nulls? %% A carrot cures blindness. Ever seen a rabbit with glasses? %% Ph entry for kcsmith (no homepage found) alias: kcsmith %% The people in the building next to us have no encryption or access control on their wireless network. They are also on a Pentagon contract to develop computer equipment for mobile infantry. %% "I dated Yumi for awhile, and I have to confess I became very attached to her," said Wataru Uchida of Tokyo. "It was hard sometimes to remember that Yumi wasn't real. She would yell at me and ignore me the exact same way as all my other girlfriends have." %% No canadians were harmed during this production. %% A study showed having sex three or more times a week can reduce a man's risk of stroke or heart attack by half. I think I'd stroke much less if I had sex three or more times a week. %% grep through her deprecated egg controller %% Is this some sort of bizarre lame-off? %% /exec echo ' Is this some sort of bizarre lame-off?' | addrumor %% When mike says "add lib/rumor.jar to your classpath," does he mean create a system variable defining that? %% I hate it when people rumor me. %% MDMA5 %% * meekay subjects Arun to the "Goddess" rumor repeatedly which rumor is that? Glad you asked. %% My sister is a notary public I'm going to get her to notarize my christmas cards %% Well, we had a little survey on this site where you could vote if you thought it was funny or not, and the results are in! We found that most people find it funny, but some of you are sore losers, like the guy at MIT who actually hacked in and changed the results! Thanks buddy! Now we have a guestbook, but please don't hack into that, smarty pants. %% this is the code that says: while (fclose(fp) < 0) ; %% "Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." - Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc. %% /exec echo rumorstorm | addrumor %% Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea: massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of ind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it. -- Gene Spafford %% How would a list of "nodes with no honor" look to our customers? %% pizza's closed, kitchen's closed. %% We go to Denny's and I order "Moons Over My Hammy," which I don't even particularly like; I just like saying "Moons Over My Hammy." %% *meekay* oh, okay. i interpreted "like" as "want to make happy monkey love with". *meekay* it's one of my worst flaws. %% [female voice 1]: "What's wrong?" [fem voice 2]: "I let him do me up the ass, and it hurt!" [2]: "What did you use for lubricant?" [2]: "Ben Gay." %% Please, my heart's fluttering so, in rivulets of fire! Quickly, unleash your fluids and put it out! %% I can't find any rumors with fnord in them. fnord. %% I am a man of constant sorrow; I've seen trouble all my days. %% We are all in one way or another going to roselle %% Abortion! I choose you! %% uh, sandwich of evil is some sort of secret danger talk for "bong"? %% "Don't you use shampoo on your wig?" "No, I use only REAL poo. Only the best poo for my wig." %% Mnemonics: Your dear, dear friend. %% "the princess bride got married to the handsome prince of tides. that makes her dad the fisher king, the father of the bride." %% Dyn-o-mite! Jay Walker, founder of PriceLine.com, announced that he's resigning from the company's board. He is not to be confused with JJ Walker, pictured here. %% "I thought being a sysadmin had to do with being a stuck-up pompous-ass worried about things totally unrelated to whats actually important to your users" "No, that's a dev." %% "Using its own e-business suite, Oracle saved over a billion dollars last year." "That's because they didn't have to pay for it." %% Whoa. Sentient rumor. %% Description: Entered on 01/02/2001 at 16:50:49 by mlenz@bridgespan.com: Unable to run Crystal reports for open orders. Would not reconize "2001" date. %% if(self.got(self.MadKnowledge)) print "Yo" else getLost() %% You are as wise as you are Dumb. %% "The orthodox defense is characterized by the moves 3 Nc3 Nf6 4 Bg5 Be7 5 e3 O-O 6 Nf3 Nbd7... It was christened "orthodox" by Dr. Tarrasch, who was sarcastically making fun of the accepted dogma of the day. It is used today by very few players because of its lack of active counterplay and the small likelihood of Black getting any winning chances. It reached a peak of popularity during the 1927 Capablanca-Alekhine match in Buenos Aires, a contest that is a serious contender for Most Boring World Championship Ever." - MCO-14, describing "Queen's Gambit Declined" (1 d4 d5 2 c4 e6) %% Someone else once said to me, ``I think that some people's brains are wired in such a way that once they hit a certain `money threshhold' they feel compelled, and indeed, maybe, a certain moral obligation, to act like complete fucking morons.'' [jwz] %% its 01/05/2001 thats gotta be good for some extra points %% * DOCADO is now fully motorcycle enabled! I am so happy. I had a friend from work ride it back to the office for me, and the whole time I was watching her ride it, I was thinking, "That will be me!" you want to be a woman? %% pasting rumor -H output to IRC is fun. %% pine is the best. did you forget an a in that last word? apine is the best? last word pine is the besta? getting closer besat? pine is the abest? closer sabet? farther beast? yeah beast! %% alias : longdong name : dong long s. pretty_name : long dong %% "Send 100,000 black people into your neighborhoods every day asking every white person they see: 'Hey man, got any drugs?' and see how long white people keep becoming lawyers." %% Are you trying to imply that Mike Khalili doesn't practice what he preaches? I find that very, very hard to believe, and you're going to have quite a bit of explaining to do! %% gnu, collectively, are pretty good at making themselves look dumb. %% In the good old days nobles and gentlemen settled disputes about women with glove-slaps to the face and duels, addressing each other as "Sir" all the while. The 21st century reality-TV version of this process involves the manager of an Athlete's Foot shop dropping a Deadhead bracelet in front of a masseur on a Caribbean beach in an attempt to stop him from having on-camera monkey sex with his girlfriend. %% The couples split up and go to join their respective temptations. The show ends with the boys in a cabana clubhouse, drinking and carousing with the single gals, some of whom are shown in the pool spanking each other. %% I think we all owe mike some thanks. His absurd ranting seems to have started this neat thread on runways and air traffic control that's providing me with all kinds of interesting information. %% In January of 2001, three commercial airplanes disappeared on the runway near Atlanta, Georgia, while preparing for takeoff. One year later, their passengers were found. %% ecret Semantec Pop Server sounds like a Delerium album %% "Is Christina Aguilera honestly Latina, or is her name one of those Geraldo Rivera things? And does the carpet match the drapes? In fact, is the room even carpeted yet?" -David Lee Roth %% > I could use an explanation on this-- i'm not a yp master. You're a yp slave! %% What the hell kind of Messiah would have Jewish parents? %% put this in your rumorfile, fuckpants. %% ipcs | awk '/operator/ {print "-m " $2}' | xargs sudo -u operator ipcrm %% we should make *every* day Echelon Day. %% the number of women attending _Snatch_ has dwindled to zero %% youre just going to leave me with a twitching schlong? %% meekay's twitching schlong %% "You know what Brian's doing in there? He's holding his schlong." %% Dude. Don't set your schlong on fire, okay? %% how else do you sterilize it? %% CHIMPs Have Invincible Monkey Powers! %% Rarely is the question asked, is our children square dancing? %% mekmitasdigoat %% just post to meatnews again. %% by "ready-built portal", do you mean that it comes with an index.html file that has a link to weather.com ? %% "I never understood why Bill Gates named his company after his penis..." %% addrumor -e rocks! %% I have no name!:/[10:08pm]# ls /dev log null I have no name!:/[10:08pm]# %% >Vietnamese? Korean? :) canadian. %% The very act of reading meatnews, much less posting, denies you any right to complain about your time being wasted. %% ignorance of the law of the TCP/IP jungle is no excuse. %% Entered on 02/06/2001 at 15:14:52 by biturrino@bridgespan.com: I have turned the printer on and off and it still will not print Entered on 02/06/2001 at 15:16:52 by biturrino@bridgespan.com: never the mind, I fixed it %% g0ff makes your little heart go pitter patter! He does, much like an ephedrine overdose %% So now I've been compared to both ephedrine *and* prozac! %% Anyone here ever taken CCNA? is that a drug? %% who wrote this OS? a bunch of punks who couldn't get into berkeley? %% alternatively, therte's spearing some damn cat and roasting it over a brush fire %% Dave and Rebecca, sittin' in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First came love, then came marriage; now they own a volvo and a baby carriage. %% I think my next car will be a Vazda Viata. %% because hey, chaps AND pants? that's so puritanical. %% "I think if I were a chick who got stranded in a cincinnati bus station because charley didn't wait for me to finish fucking some other guy, I'd probably turn lesbian too." "Whoa. That has *got* to be a good story." %% Scorpio (Oct 24-Nov 21): You will go down in linguistic and polar history next week when it is discovered that the Eskimos have more than 600 words for what a big jerk you are. %% hey, if you're going to paste spam to channel, you should do it like Zach does. put it in groogroo.rumor first. %% *** Aliases: *** RUM exec -o rumor -l 5 -t $0- | rumor -s *** RUMOR exec -m $0 rumor -l 5 -t $1- | rumor -s %% text/rumor D)ownload, or C)ancel %% User Comments: Ton's of Action %% This is another example of _Vikram's First Rule_[1]... -Vik [1] _Vikram's First Rule_ states: Some arbitrarily large portion of the population exist for just a handfull of reasons. Those reasons are 1) Breading stock 2) Manual labor 3) Cannon fodder PS. Since *ENGLISH SUCKS* I really don't care if I've misspelled anything... %% We nearly set up an interview for the 18th birthday of one of our engineers. We were going to hire a stripper and have her interview for a "kernel engineer position" and start taking clothes off during the interview. We decided that, even here, it would get us in a lot of trouble. %% hoover's. 6:30 * meekay counterproposes 7pm 6:45? Sure, as long as it's okay if I'm 15 minutes late. %% I tried to persuade them with the example of my cousin who once exiled himself to Muncie, Indiana for two years where he worked for Jim Davis, the man behind the Garfield industry. It turns out that Jim Davis in person is fond of telling jokes about blacks, Jews, etc. But he knows that this kind of humor isn't commercial so he is extremely careful to avoid offending anyone in the actual Garfield strips. If he must make fun of a group, he'll choose fat people. My cousin explained that "Garfield isn't funny because it doesn't offend anyone. To be funny, most of the time, you have to run the risk of offending at least a few people. Jim isn't willing to take that risk." %% Would you really want to take Web publishing advice from someone who had to burn a CD-ROM to distribute his software? Come to http://demo.webho.com for electronic versions of the source code examples in this book, for live demos of the software in use, and for the packaged source code to larger systems. IMHO, this URL is better than a CD-ROM. You can't lose it. You can't scratch it. You can't leave it in your office when you need it at home. You can give it to your friends and still keep it for yourself. %% I am romantically involved with a woman who is perfect in almost every way, save one. She is an Objectivist (an Ayn Rand follower). %% [working group chair hat off. raving lunatic anti-csh bigot hat on.] %% Asked if he had a suggestion for Bush, the expert said, "Not really. He said a really stupid thing. It seems obvious that he shouldn't say stupid things in the future." %% Is it too late to ask if you want to cyber? %% Are you on fire for GOD, Scotty? YES SIR I AM ON FIRE %% WOW, they run faster than cars, those are high speed fags sir!!! %% [Snoop Dogg's] first submission bears the what-you-see-is-what-you-get title of "Doggystyle." (This is a name with considerably more marquee value than say, "Up the Snoop Chute.") %% I'm about a fourth of the way through the Foundation Trilogy. I'm a fifth through this case of vodka. %% I was in Salem on Saturday, celebrating St. Patrick's day. After the 8th hour of drinking, I figured I needed a coffee. Unfortunately, the bar didn't have any...so I had to drink a porter instead. %% *** Signoff: meekay (fucking mrw) %% fuckers. %% so what's the biggest thing in your life that's you've noticed that's changed since being a dad? there's a tiny human being that's totally and completely dependant on you for survival. I should get me one of those someday gotta catch 'em all %% Bill Clinton is the closest thing we'll ever have to a black president. Because he got impeached -- that means fired -- and he still showed up to work the next day like nothin' ever happened. %% "In the year 2000..." "Fools will come to my house and ask me to stop pitying them. However, it will be raining and I will not be home, so I will continue to pity them." %% Hi everyone. When I call my first Cobalt Raq3 setup page, Netscape displays it, and IE doesn't. It gives:HTTP Error 406 - Not acceptable any ideas?? dont use IE %% Even linus says so. Linus is a wanker, but I'll listen to advice coming from you. :) %% 2MEN251 %% Mmm.. ZBO sex change. %% Hello Grandpa, my old friend Your busy day is at an end. Your exploits have been sad and boring, They tell a tale that's worth ignoring. When you're alone, the words of your story Will echo down the rest-home hall, 'Cause no one at all can stand The sound of Grandpa. %% most of these dotcoms aren't designed to survive the year much less a nuclear strike %% i actually had a conference call devolved into a 20 minute discussion on what color code we should standardize on for network maps the crowning point was when someone and i am not making this up when someone started questioning when we should use nuetral colors vs bright colors %% Norm MacDonald is a true comic genius. If love politically incorrect humor, flatulence humor, or insult humor like I do, than you will love this movie. If you don't, well then, "keep your distance there, Liberace." %% Every bot is special. Every bot is great. When a bot is k-lined god gets quite i-rate %% I AM TRYING TO E-MAIL A PTO REQUEST TO LISA MARVIN AND THE LETTERS BECAME STRANGE SYMBOLS AND IT ASKED ME FOR UNICODE MESSAGEING OR NON UNICODE MESSAGEING. PLEASE HELP! %% I [heart] my cat. I [spade] my dog. I [club] my seals. I [diamond] my fiancee. %% The best thing about comparing things to 1999 is that now it's not just dystopian, but anachronistic %% I'm sorer than ... something that is really sore. %% Finally! The great taste of Worcestershire Sauce in a soft drink. %% i am impress with the speed of postfix, i mean the sencond i hit click that mail is gone down the tubre %% Yes. In fact, I keep a hard drive around with all 22 megs of emacs on it just so I can drop it into broken AIX boxes to directly edit password files. Its so handy. You retard. %% I have to admit, when I first suggested anal sex to my girlfriend, she looked at me like I was crazy. I offered to double-wrap, use plenty of AstroGlide, but she was still totally freaked over the idea of it. Then she made a deal with me: If I'd bend over for her strap-on, she'd bend over for me. We take turns taking it up the poop chute, and now we finally feel like our relationship is fully equal. %% Lost in a maelstrom Wasteland that passes for a soul Black skies Shreds of my dignity lie tattered in the rain Fragile hopes and dreams are shattered On the cold, hard rock of reality My life goes on When will it end? When will it end... %% "So, anyone got a plan on how we can destroy this legislation?" "small nuclear devices set off in their rectums? "because best way i know to get one's head out of one's ass..." %% Five, six. / Pick up chicks. seven, eight, hope they're straight. %% Hahaha, yay fuckers %% rumor production sure has dropped off since zach stopped hanging out on irc %% "sharing with your neighbor is the moral equivalent of attacking a ship." %% Pour you a glass Instead of beatin' on yo ass Take a chill pill Bill Blow some kill, pop the steel Since we won't be seen Sippin' syrup till we lean From the dirty third coast it ain't no roach G So fill your cup to the brim and have a toast with me. %% Pokemon? Obsessed w/ cats? You know your really odd. %% What follows next is indeed compelling television. "Which weighs more, a pound of feathers or a pound of bricks?" Easy! Natalie knows this one! She writes, "Bricks!" Duh. "It's a pound of everything," Kim explains. "Oh!" "Who is the vice president of the United States?" There are cries of dismay all around! We didn't realize it was going to be hard! "How many inches are there in a yard?" "I use metric!" Kim yells. At this point, UPN is not bothering to show us the answers. "Who is the author of 'War and Peace'?" No clue all around. Jeannie believes, confidently, that there are four months with 28 days in them. Later, Natalie gazes at the camera. "I think all three of us felt uneducated in certain subjects because he's a very intelligent person." %% This, I think, falls into the realm between "how on earth would you have forgotten" and "you would certainly have repressed these memories" %% yhtfr~\ %% "Mother-in-Law" is an anagram for "Woman Hitler" %% PISSING BEHIND THE DUMPSTER at the 7-11 on 1/4 Sand Point Way U: well endowed blonde woman. Me: honked at you as I drove by in my Honda. U waved. Call me. 3909 %% my branch has a large displacement heh heh %% i was rearended with keith and sarah %% (Random thought: It occurs to me that we can drastically reduce SUV use with simple legislation that would require them to make that annoying "truck backing up" sound. There is nothing wrong with this legislation, per se, that would make it terribly controversial, but it would sure take out a lot of "class" from driving one of those things. "Hey Chad, you haulin' logs in that Escalade, or what?") %% I want to be a trend whore when I grow up! %% Your search - "grade school gangbang" - did not match any documents. %% "How do you stain leather?" "He's THAT studly." %% The cheesiest, most blatantly pandering "Hookers Who Read Proust" article on Salon.com displays more literary skill than the finest Katz screed ever to see the light of day. %% Why is it that every time I go to Houston something bad happens? %% Here is another example: "At least 21" and "no one under 18" are key phrases that are often found on pornographic sites, though those sites often have a barrier anyway -- usually, you have to give a credit card number. But these phrases are also found in news reports. I'm looking at my screen right now: "At least 21 people were killed in Indonesia." That site was blocked by Cybersitter. %% Question: Why are people in chat rooms such idiots? [ simulated persona = "Ayn Rand", node #101, max search depth 8%, neural variance 1.450 ] Why are people such idiots? %% picture something so annoying that dfoygel enjoys it immensely %% that's why "now" is cool and "then" sucked %% GROVEL BEFORE MY TOLKEIN MASTERY %% *** On via server irc.rt.ru: This is my church. %% "As long as we have school shootings, there will always be prayer in schools." %% * Zaphod is page-aligned chaotic %% The Facilities Department apologizes for any inconvenience that vending machine service has caused in the past couple of days. We had a miscommunication with our vendor as to the pricing and reliability of machines. The problem has been fixed. ALL SODAS AND SNACKS ARE BACK TO THEIR CORRECT PRICING OF $.25 EACH. %% how many poly-bi-strippers do you know? All of them. %% Kiss cookies goodbye, Colonel Sanders genesis freak! ARRRRR UMMM NUMMM NUMMMM... %% fetchmail was okay. is it bloated now? It eats spaghetti carbonara %% > You should consider a job in technical product marketing. :-) Why do you say such mean things? %% dannyman == region 2 playah %% what do you like about Asian girls? slanted pussy. %% Have you ever been to a hockey game? Hockey girls can be real sluts. %% "So hey, i'm getting paid by the government to smoke marijuana." "How's that? welfare?" %% But then I remembered KR's abject terror of an 14" inflatable globe of Mars, and I fell sound asleep. %% The LORD says: it is I, the LORD Ricky Powell says: how's it goin', LORD The LORD says: eh, ok. %% A man took me aside and showed me an exquisite flower growing from a hairline crack in a thick bed of poured concrete "there's a lesson to be learned here," he said "large slabs of concrete should be sectioned with asphalt expansion seams." %% I was prepared for the fact that a large slice of internet activity is porn. What shocked me and frightened me was high frequency of that data being images of chicks with penises. -- Brandon B. %% I want to play mulitplayer online date sims THey have those; it's called ICQ. %% It appears that the source file "********.exe" on the VOB server isn't infected but the copy transferred got infected during transit over the network. Perhaps this means that the virus is actually installed within a network switch ... %% it's so lame that it appear in brochures about Lyme Disease. %% You should eat a legume. And make a leg out of u and me. %% I once saw a page that said ``this page best viewed by coming over to my office and looking at it on my monitor.'' You don't often see honesty like that. --jwz %% Jul 31 16:00:17 silver qmail: 996620417.855687 delivery 164985: deferral: 207.46.181.13_failed_after_I_sent_the_message./Remote_host_said:_452_Unable_to_accept_message_because_the_server_is_out_of_disk_space./ 13.181.46.207.IN-ADDR.ARPA domain name pointer smtp-gw-4.msn.com %% Dave has a hardon for the smouldering bowl. %% *** Bonr is now known as Adam %% I want a case of condoms, a case of KY, and the swedish bikini team. We all have wants. one would HOPE the swedish bikini team was wet on their own accord. Not when ya fuck 'em in the ass! %% another great schoolyard prank: The ARCHIMEDES SCREW %% Login: theo Name: Theodore Marvin Wolpinsky Terrell Directory: /home/theo Shell: /usr/local/bin/zsh Never logged in. %% Kiss cookies goodbye, Ozzy-quoting non-bat-chewing freak! ARRRR UMMMMM NUMMMM NUMMMMM... %% Kiss cookies goodbye, Ozzy-quoting bat-chewing freak! ARRRRR UMMMM NUMMMM NUMMMM... %% Well, that dumb joke goes in the same rumor file with all the others. %% O: What are some of your favorite films? BB: Lawrence Of Arabia. To Kill A Mockingbird. Close Encounters. Field Of Dreams. Transformative stories which leave the audience walking out of the theater looking at their lives wholly different than two hours before. Haven't found that yet in a Tom Green movie, but there's hope. %% #OpenBSD Where is the page that lists the successful laptop installs? #openbsd setzer is a cat. %% She's a Perl of girl, I guess that's what you might say i guess her folks brought her up that way %% I am really starting to get into house music. horse music? music that our equine friends can really GET DOWN to! I listen to quite a bit of pig music myself you know, Cop Rock. %% I thought I had mono for a year, but it turns out that I was just really bored. %% ftp and web belong on /baxter because that's the stuff that goes out the door %% "Some day a tiny tot is going to come up to me and ask if I'm Luke Skywalker's grandfather. That's my greatest fear because I know it's going to happen ... I've already been asked if I'm Luke's father." -- Mark Hamill %% What people don't understand is that the drinking, casual sex, and off-color jokes are the only way of coping with the pressures of video-store clerking. %% "The password file is out of date on ns0.crp. Do you think we should use NIS instead for an authritative list?" "NIS is served from ns0.corp." "It's not on NIS?" "There is a machine named NIS?" "I don't know." "Do you KNOW what NIS is?" "No." "You're fired." %% "That'll be $86.51 for the games including tax." "How much if I pay with cash?" "$86.51." "You don't understand, I want to pay in cash." "What's to understand? It's $86.51." "Well, that way you don't have to keep a record. You could, maybe, keep the money for yourself..." "I see. So I should steal from the owner. Brilliant plan except that part where I steal from myself, as I'm the owner." "Uhm." "If you ever plan to rent from me, you will require a credit card." %% Filmed in 70mm in order to fit Brando in a close-up without panning around. %% Cc: mbrick,cbrick,kbrick %% "Under Linux, what driver do I use for an Adaptec AHA-294X?" "Try a 2 wood." %% You fucking plebians. You'd be grateful if you were wise to choke on my semen. %% Bigge is the kind of writer for whom the term "poetry" is always the same as the term "bad poetry" -- for whom "pseudo-intellectual" means the same thing as "intellectual," and everything that's not self-deprecatingly cynical is "pretentious." %% Postscript, 9-2-01: I did not kick his ass. %% A specially selected panel of masturbation experts (I'm thinking seven or eight 15-year-old boys) [...] %% "Hrm. How does one say 'I'm in town at the moment, bitch, so if you want an onsite interview, better do it tomorrow.' when submitting a resume?" "I'm not sure, but I'd start with removing bitch." %% I now pronounce you male avatar and female avatar. You may click the 'kiss the bride' icon. %% someone forgot to pipe fresh rumors ^^; ^^ ^^; %% Dave has a hardon for the smouldering bowl. %% My name akbar from Indonesia, i like openbsd server more than 4 server with openbsd, but until now i don't have manual book. I want to you to send me free book or t-shirt. %% SCUBA (Self Contained Undercover Boning Apparatus) %% Sun Sep 9 01:46:40 GMT 2001 %% Earlier today I saw a car with a big sign that said "One nation, indivisable." That's neat, and all, but they also have an old Southern Rebel flag sticker in one of the windows. %% PLEASE NOTE: the sp10 weblogic instance appears to take approx 3x the memory required for the sp6 instance... and we should still be wary of long term memory usage since our initial tests only spanned approx 12 hours. %% grep `date +%d/%b/%Y` /var/www/logs/pianosa.catch22.org/combined_log | egrep -c '(cmd|root).exe' %% awk '/Sep.2001.*(root|cmd).exe/ {print $4}' < combined_log | cut -f 1 -d : | uniq -c %% I prefer to think of myself as an angloZAXXON %% _pg.error: pqReadData() -- backend closed the channel unexpectedly. "I think it's saying you need to open your backend" %% file natalie_topless.jpg natalie_topless.jpg: JPEG image data, JFIF standard, Made in Adobe Photoshop %% Hi! How are you? I send you this file in order to have your advice See you later. Thanks %% i don't know if i woud buy meat from someone who just stopped by my house I wouldn't. THat is because you are a vegan, Paul oh. oh yeah :) %% [18:06] dbt@pianosa:~>rumor -F vegan -c [18:06] 1 %% StaceY - LOL! Yeah I know what your sayin :-))) Lowtax - Your little smile there has like five chins, he must be some fat guy with marriage problems. %% Would it be too much to assume that he's not getting any? Sorry to say, but he is one of the least professional people that I have ever had the displeasure of dealing with via regular workplace duties. Considering that I worked at a car dealership, this is a relatively bold statement... %% [09:06] <[Ender]> That's the difference between frats and ACM [09:06] <[Ender]> One group spends its time messing around with horribly insecure women, the other group spends its time messing around with horribly insecure systems. %% oh man, I spilled pop on/in my keyboard and my one key is not working OH SHIT NOW SHIFT IS STUCK I FEEL LIKE AN AOL USER BRB %% better than fortune, it's seano %% man, there's this girl here whose laugh is exactly that of a hyena I expect her to come dragging a zebra corpse through the office %% I don't have a vibrate option. %% may your employer remain financially solvent %% "It results in behavior such as owning a Volvo 850 turbo as your first car, but not having enough pants to make it through the week." "THat sounds acceptable to me. You can always wear pants twice." %% am i too tall to go to Japan? %% * pc listens to Kid A for the 251st time %% Slashdot headlines, Thu Oct 11 14:21:38 PDT 2001: Citizen/IBM To Make A Linux Watch Lego Mindstorms In Space Ask Slashdot: What's The Future of DRM? Net: Now Our Most Serious News Medium? (by Jon Katz) Slashdot Poll: Favorite Character in LotR. %% * junta addrumors no, not twice in one day! %% * nebkor cheers for being rumored! %% There is no such song as as ``Acid Acid Acid'' by ``The Acid Heads'' but there might as well be. %% hi, i have this cisco catalyst server 7500 at work here and i wanted to know how to install solaris on it? %% This message is for Dave. Dave, just to be safe please reset testcerts AIA1 to AIA4 for tomorrow. Thanks. %% Thankyou Everyone for the Greatest Team Work effort, this thankyou goes for all parties involved from start to finish, %% - It's a Done Deal - Of course it had it's own share of controlled chaos, but the collective teams handled it with surgical precision. BRAVO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! %% We did not see the updated checklist ... yet :-) Our 5pm meeting is coming up rapidly. Checklist Please !! %% Action Plan: - I am hoping that Trevor gets the chance to update the ticket - I am also hoping that iLana is capturing this activity The Meter s Running :-) %% But the sweetest touch, the most American thing of all, is the Moist Towelette. "Here is your Moist Towelette," it says in English on the back. "It will clean and refresh your hands and face without soap and water. Self-dries in seconds, leaving skin smooth and soft." %% mmm...this anthrax goes great with tortilla chips! %% Has he released his "Tower in the Wind" single? %% ha, I had completely forgotten about the existence of Elton John %% There are three religious truths: 1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. 2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. 3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters %% addrumor < file.mp3? %% ConnectionString = "userid=CertpartnerOnline;password=P@rn!*r0nline;database=mcsp;server=CPARTPROD" %% yes, didn't you ever see the educational video "Charles Discharged" in health class? %% "I should have shown him 'Electroghonnorrea, the Noisy Killer'." %% "don't be illiterate, like our players. Thanks. -The NBA" %% "I should be the old guy people come to to learn karate." "Well, first you need to get old." "And learn karate. Shit!" %% you could have my apartment and I could stay with the bisexual canadian nurse %% * mrw2 imagines vast herds of database administrators, roaming the plains, seeking databases to administer. They'd use up all the resources in one place, and have to reallocate the tablespace. %% DO NOT FEED THE DBA %% "OK, time to egress the house." "I didn't think that 'egress' was a verb?" "I can verb whatever word I want!" "well dick you then." %% "Continue, oh great niggerologist." %% "you've even been called the clarence thomas of television." "It's nice to be hyphenated." %% "But, after you're gone, I'll have no one left to protect me from the wolves!" "Um. Growl?" *blink* "Oh shit." %% so if it works for you, we could change it to MWF all three days? that's quite a bit of drinking I'm irish %% Hey, does anyone have a good idea of what would approximate a home made Bacardi Breezer? Tess: one part ice, four parts rum. put the ice in the blender. drink the rum. %% "I'd like to live just long enough to be there when they cut off your head and stick it on a pike, as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come with too high a price. I want to look up into your lifeless eyes and wave like this. Can you and your associates arrange that for me, Mr. Morden?" %% Too risky to deploy this "stuff" today .... I think !! %% QA needs more bake time. We should definitely make all efforts to resolve these issues, make new builds, re-stage them, re-test them, ..... we will make a call by 6:00pm this evening ... to decide a GO/NOGO process. %% "Your wife is obsessed with squirrels." "Yes i know. All I can say is: squirrels like to put nuts in their mouth all the time." %% "Please do not confuse me with the Pakistani government." "This probably happens to Todd rather frequently, so he's understandably sensitive to it." %% Timothy Zahn's _Zoolander: Dark Tide Rising_. %% so someone just came into our cube and said that the date field in one of our forms was taunting him. because, when confronted by a bad date, it filled it in with three "Not A Number" fields. so it said NaN-NaN-NaN %% But I digress. Back To The Future is a timeless story of universal human experiences, like the quest for self-knowledge, overcoming adversity, and going to the school dance with your mother. %% PATRIOT act: Piss All Through Rights In Our Towns %% I still have my python ogg ripper open in vi, and since yesterday the only thing I have written is "#!/usr/local/bin/python" %% Please use caution when going downstairs on the Latham Street side of the building. The women's bathroom is flooding and the floor at the foot of the stairs is extremely slippery. Please use the elevator or the stairs on the other side of the building until we can get this taken care of. %% It's like a god damned Star Trek convention, except that the objectivists have traded in their Spock ears for molded prosthetic Ayn Rand twats. %% Im new to ipv6 and have a couple of questions: 1> What is a psuedo header (format and where is it used) 2> Is there a TCL implementation of ipv6 that is open source? %% "then the helpful sysadmin found his head down a toilet while the little one cackled and flushed repeatedly." %% like when egroups messed up and started sending mail from the "big beautiful people" porn group to the christian weight loss group %% *** TanAdept has changed the topic on channel #uiuc to Thanks for flying VIM! %% 'who do you trust? Bill Gates or Rosie O'Donnell?' %% You have the right to remain ignorant. Anything you say can and will be ignored. %% wow, I thought rabies was 100% lethal bu Ann Coulter just goes on and on %% Subject: Re: Vegans can't eat eggs, or dairy products. > But can they drink urine? A: Yes, as long as that urine doesn't come from an animal. %% Subject: BAND CAMP GIRLS (FREE FOR LIFE) %% "Heh. I worked all day, then violated just about every work place ethic known by getting hammered with the lady who is soon to be my boss, and having a bitch fest about the lady who is currently my boss." "Whom did you fuck? Which one?" "Oh, well, no, the one that I took home to fuck is the third manager there." %% "He doesn't like it when I wear see-through shirts. Because he doesn't want anyone to see my raspberries (nipples)." - Madonna on husband Guy Ritchie %% "I've been thinking, 'Man, it would be fucking awesome to have sex with Natalie Portman, if you really think about it, and be honest with yourself.'" --Sean O'Connor %% "He's a Prof. of Deductive Reasoning." "Deductive Reasoning? What's that?" "Well, it's like this," explains the man. "Do you have a dog house?" "No." "Fag." %% really, we're a bunch of puritan fags %% select sum(debit) from checking where description ILIKE '%sushi%'; sum ---------- -$310.21 %% I don't want a pony %% would you quit eofing me %% my friend and i were talking about einstein and stuff in california and he said man, wouldnt it be great to go back in time and slip him some acid? we'd be in a timewarp capable car right now %% Oops, I guess he should have said they HAD games on it. I am sure the SYSOP is real happy to know that his members give out info like that! I don't know who id stupider, the USER or the SYSOP!! Warez Rulz! Jasen %% Message-ID: <155302Z01051994@anon.penet.fi> Newsgroups: alt.sex,comp.sys.ibm.pc.games From: an87530@anon.penet.fi X-Anonymously-To: alt.sex,comp.sys.ibm.pc.games Organization: Anonymous contact service Reply-To: an87530@anon.penet.fi Date: Sun, 1 May 1994 15:43:33 UTC Subject: New PIRATE BBS HAS GAMES ON IT! Lines: 13 hey a new bbs is open its got pirate games like ultima 8, i dont think thats legal but who fucking cares heheh the number is 708-251-5049 its in chicago, the password is "YODA".. stay c00l - fLaSh MaN - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- To find out more about the anon service, send mail to help@anon.penet.fi. Due to the double-blind, any mail replies to this message will be anonymized, and an anonymous id will be allocated automatically. You have been warned. Please report any problems, inappropriate use etc. to admin@anon.penet.fi. %% I once got stigmata! KR bit my right palm, then the next day, a mirror wound appeared on my left. well, see, that makes sense. 'cause stigmata's a ccaattholic myth %% But when men have realized that time has upset many fighting faiths, they may come to believe even more than they believe the very foundations of their own conduct that the ultimate good desired is better reached by free trade in ideas -- that the best test of truth is the power of the thought to get itself accepted in the competition of the market, and that truth is the only ground upon which their wishes safely can be carried out. That at any rate is the theory of our Constitution. - Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes [ Abrams v. United States (1919) ] %% i can't believe i'm forgetting sed. i've already forgotten most of my awk. perl is kind of like crack in that way you start substituting it for other meaningful things in your life. %% it's New Nick Day. %% giant mecha porn with TENTACLES %% The rumor gods have decreed that no rumors shall be added today. %% how ironic that as I added that last rumor, I also violated it. %% I have seen the rumor network. %% some plants are dead. %% I always knew under that gruff crusty old-man-ish exterier laid the heart of a evil criminal mastermind! %% Dan Sachs... ...is a schemeing evil genius. :-P %% -*-Mutt: /var/mail/dbt [Msgs:976 New:165 Del:4 Post:1 41M]---(size/date)-(end)-- Purge 4 deleted messages? ([y]/n): y ---Mutt: /var/mail/dbt [Msgs:972 New:165 Post:1 17M]---(size/date)------(end)--- %% Google does not display pop-up advertising. Here's why. %% - We are dealing with a complex software "soup" !! Meaning = expect problems, anticipate failures and their solutions ** Team Work involved %% - The M3 schedule does not allow any future failures, across all Teams Meaning = Each delay in upstream process, has severe impact on downstream ** Team Work involved %% - Each M3 task owner across all teams is the "absolute" expert in their area. Meaning = I totally respect the dynamics and idiosyncrasies of every team process. ** Team Work involved %% I am extremely interested to see us all do what we do BEST. Not second best. Like in the movie Jerry McGuire: "Help Me ...... Help You" %% I am proud of everyone's smart efforts; going forward. GO TEAM ! Looking forward to our discussion @3pm %% Declan is not impressed that we announced him as "the happiest man in the building." He is unjustly (sp, Jennifer) being made fun of for this... ...Please continue poking fun at him Ken %% 3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too. %% all these urls are wankeriffic %% If, for example, a woman wants to fellate a gentleman caller, she can simply say, "I want to suck on your dingle." Or "Can I please lick your winkie?" That's so much preferable. %% 1729 is the smallest integer that can be expressed as the sum of two cubes in two different ways. 10*10*10 + 9*9*9 = 1000 + 729 = 1729 1*1*1 + 12*12*12 = 1 + 1728 = 1729 %% Chris Shay is clearly a figment of our imagination (that or he only owns one shirt) %% 18446744073709551615: 3 5 17 257 641 65537 6700417 %% *** TanAdept is now known as IRQ_2 * IRQ_2 cascades *** SmooveB is now known as IRQ_9 * IRQ_9 fires %% How are you liking the place, Matt? neb: it rules like a US-supported dictator in Latin America. Hahaha I'm not sure if that is good or bad it's good. %% YOU VILL BE TALKING, HERR SOFABED. OR VE VILL BE DOINK THINGS TO YOUR KOOSHENS THAT YOU DO NOT WANT. %% "I convected the shit out of it" %% "it is cretin I will pursue and aline myself" %% Anus Baby %% root 9920 0.0 0.6 16 480 C0 I+ Tue04PM 0:00.04 krb4-or-pwd -s login %\^[[13~5\^[[14~\^[[17~\^[[5~\^[[17~n5hy\^[ thats a little suspicious looking not necessarily; do you have a cat? %% i love being buzzed, but i hate falling down %% well, the actual reason is that I desperately want to be clever ("how's that working out for you?") and analogies like that are most likely to wind up in people's rumor files. %% \\billg\buttlove %% "you KNOW you're in big trouble when the output of ldd has to be piped to 'more'" - ian darwin on kde %% Two DSLs and an ISDN %% "it's pretty unscrupulous of you to let people in for free, and then charge $6 for drinks!" %% time to clone myself if you did that then jgross2 would look at your work and go "This is Crap!" and we'd have a jgross vs jgross2 argument %% Ticket: No Subject Entered Description: Entered on 08/15/2002 at 06:48:57 by xxxxxxxx@bridgespan.com: it is the server down? %% hot wok General Tso's Chicken I used to get one order every two days and live on it for every meal I have not found the same style of general chicken here Yeah, well, California's EPA is a lot stricter %% "why the hell is this taking almost 4 seconds all the sudden? I didn't change that much, I just turned on ... oh" %% don't you know that 300 trillian chinese orphans go without palmtop computers every day? %% "Here, take all my money! Just don't touch me!" "No problem, ma'am; I'm as gay as springtime." %% "You know what they say, when life gives you shit..." "What, make shit-ade?" %% So, the Large Dick Corporation is in trouble for having bad nuts %% I like chickens baked or fraud do you like chickens %% The state of our union is strong, we must attack iraq! %% Fortunately, you've written lots of descriptive comments. yeah. # CONTAINS NO USER-SERVICABLE PARTS %% i don't know why i always want to misspell "sysconfdir" as "localstatedir" %% Yuppie bought some tequila, he bought it for a five His buddy gave another, and the party come alive. You put the poo in the toilet bowl, and not on the seat. You put the poo in the toilet bowl, and not on the seat. You put the poo in the toilet bowl Called the floor-guy, what a treat, and look, "Asshole, your folks toilet use not teach? I say, asshole, so I wipe it down with bleach. I say, asshole, your folks toilet use not teach? I say, asshole, so I wipe it down with bleach." - Devon of DNA Lounge (to the tune of "put the lime in the coconut") %% "Why is Ogg Vorbis better than mp3? Which basic technologies has Ogg Vorbis, that f.ex. lame doesn't have? Ogg Vorbis has a different psycho model than mp3, but what is the names of these models and what is the differences?" "I can't really answer this from a technical point of view, but I'm pretty sure MP3 uses the Lecter-model while Ogg uses Bateman. Bateman is a newer, more modern model." %% Want to meet my dog? %%