Team Rocket always puts beauty before duty.
%%
House rules:
Rumor shall not be used as a to-do list.
Rumor shall not be used as a relational database.
Rumor shall not be used as a filesystem.
Rumor shall not be used as a method of software distribution.
%%
[10:24] <disjoint> Oh, I thought about it and finally figured out why it's good
   that it's so expensive to become a registrar
[10:24] <SmooveB> why?
[10:25] <disjoint> Because it would suck for Random Joe to become a registrar
   and just start sucking up domains and squatting on them
[10:25] <SmooveB> of course, he can just go to bulkregister.com
[10:25] <disjoint> There needs to be some sort of driving reason to charge a
   decent price for them
[10:25] <disjoint> Hmm. Yuck to bulkregister.com
[10:26] <disjoint> I hope that the invisible hand spanks their asses.
%%
Null message body; hope that's ok
%%
Who's that Pokemon?
%%
Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!
%%
FLAF = "Four Letter Acronyms are the Future"
%%
I need more rumors.
%%
/*FIXME*/
%%
THREATS OF PHYSICAL VIOLENCE ARE USELESS AGAINST THE WORM.
%%
AH, GOING TO BLOW SOMETHING UP?
%%
I AM EVERYWHERE.
%%
HUH?
%%
I'M GOING TO BLOW YOU UP.
%%
I WILL BLOCK YOUR CALCULATIONS.
%%
THAT'S A LOT OF EXPLOSIVE FOR YOU TO FOOL AROUND WITH, LITTLE BOY.
%%
An advantage of living in a decaying civilization was that
nobody really cared if you chose to roam the corridors laden with
armfuls of chest waders, flashlights, electrical equipment and
weaponry.
%%
the road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom
%%
cannula
%%
You miss too much these days if you stop to think.
%%
System V users: Best results are obtained by upgrading your OS to 4.4 BSD.
%%
Alright, it's evolution time!
%%
Your routine is so boring, Snorlax will go into an even deeper sleep!
%%
Soon you'll see Snorlax on cable!
%%
chow down, Snorlax.  Looks like you've got a case of the munchies.
%%
In this life, you gotta dive into the gutter headfirst.
%%
MEAN PEOPLE RULE!
%%
Be quiet, or I'll knock the cholesterol out of you!
%%
poop.
%%
/* my string processing is dumb */
 -- rumor.c
%%
fluffy.floofy!
%%
If I showed even a little bit of tolerance, it wouldn't be zero-tolerance!
%%
Shop doesn't have to happen in any special place, as long as it's
well-lit and the outlets are grounded.
%%
Groin-grabbingly transcendent!
%%
When Brian Swetland travelled in time
To the year 2999,
He fixed the Y-3000 Bug,
And E-commerce was fine!
%%
Trapped on a barren planet and you're stuck with the only Indian
who can't start a fire by rubbing two sticks together.
%%
Grapefruit Diet!
%%
He's bad, but he'll die, so I like it.  
(some random Simpsons' character admiring a painting of Mr. Burns)
%%
I got the photograph from one one of your magazines, "Fascist Dictator
Monthly".  He was Mr. October.
%%
Too old and too crypto-fascist!
%%
Computers and calculators do not have an afterlife.
%%
I'm just doing my job... It's not my fault if I enjoy it.
%%
Now we'll have to "Prepare for Trouble". -- Ash
%%
Greenspun's Tenth Rule of Programming: "Any sufficiently complicated C
or Fortran program contains an ad-hoc, informally-specified bug-ridden
slow implementation of half of Common Lisp."
%%
We'll grab your Pokemon in a snap!
Before you wake up from your nap!
%%
Why should we stop when we're having such a Blastoise?
%%
It's times like these that make me want to go straight.  -- James
%%
In cyberspace, no one can hear th' wrecking ball.
%%
Python is not a democracy. -- Guido van Rossum
%%
Lovely, Charming Network
%%
Grab it, Jessie!
%%
My cousins are all police officers; all of us look identical, plus
we're all named Jenny.
%%
Cool.  We're just like those super-villains in the comics, except we're
better looking.
%%
We just lost our drummer to a Pentecostal Ska band.
%%
I'm Nurse Joy, of the Fuschia City Joys, sister to the Vermilion City Joys.
%%
Oh yeah, I forgot, I _am_ a Pokemon; I can battle them myself!
%%
Today is a good day to die.
%%
Clean gloves hide dirty hands.
%%
You are an individual, you are small, you cannot
understand what it is to be Borg.
%%
So this is human freedom?
%%
We will betray you.  We are Borg.
%%
You would deny us the choice, as you deny us now?  You have
imprisoned us in the name of Humanity, yet you will not
grant us your most cherished Human right, to choose our
own fate.  You are hypocritical, manipulative.  We do not
want to be what you are.
%%
Our gods are dead; ancient warriors slew them millennia ago,
they were more trouble than they were worth.  -- Worf
%%
For 3.2 seconds, I saw perfection.
%%
I AM HUMAN
%%
Every day is Lesbian Lover Day!
%%
Guns.  Lots of guns.
%%
You don't need flying cars, but you will need a different kind of software.
%%
You know why they put oxygen masks on planes?  So you can breathe?
Oxygen gets you high.  In a catastrophic emergency, you're taking
giant, panic breaths, suddenly you become euphoric, docile, you accept
your fate. ... It's all right here:  Emergency water landing, 600 miles
per hour; blank faces, calm as Hindu cows.
%%
Second, Microsoft Chat users like to make their characters "dance"
by pressing the enter key repeatedly, which floods the other chat
client screens.
%%
We also thank Betty Dexter for the extreme effort she put into setting
this report in TeX, and Donald Knuth for designing the program that
caused her troubles.  -- R5RS
%%
I was promised flying cars.  I don't see flying cars.  Why? Why? Why?
%%
[ The sore freaks in comp.lang.dylan don't need to be reminded that
  their language doesn't have a programmable syntax, so followups are
  redirected away from the pathetic loser camp. ]
%%
Five more megs of nubile Asian lesbian hermaphrodites.
%%
There are two kinds of people in the world.
Those who think there are two kinds of people and those who don't.
%%
Who needs the infinite compassion of Ganisha when I have Tom 
Cruise and Nicole Kidman stareing at me from the cover of 
Entertainment Weekly?
%%
One.
%%
Making teenagers depressed is like shooting fish in a barrel,
%%
Look, the best marketing tool known to western man is beautiful women.
The next best thing after that is alcohol.  Then perhaps religion.
%%
fun eval (Leaf l) = l
  | eval (PlusExp p) = foldr (fn (x,y) => (eval x)+y) 0 p
  | eval (TimesExp p) = foldr (fn (x,y) => (eval x)*y) 1 p;
%%
I shall let rumor be my proxy in all future conversations.
%%
A is not A.
%%
The Red Line: Where Crack Whores and Upwardly Mobile
Professionals Work, Play, and Ride Side by Side.
%%
It's only 34 years until the year 2000.  Make the most of them.
%%
What's the matter?  Is your computer too busy to talk to you?
It's probably nothing personal.  Like many other firms, you 
might very well have outgrown the computer you started with.
If you started with NCR, your solution is relatively inexpensive.
A system expansion ... or maybe a faster processor, will give
your system the breathing room to chat with you all you like.
%%
The first rule of this game is that it is not a game.
Everyone must play.
You must love us.
You must go on living.
Be yourself, but play a consistent and acceptable role.
Control yourself and be natural.
Try to be sincere.
%%
I am Mahir, I kiss you!
%%
All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo!
%%
Nixon with charisma?  My god, I can rule the universe!
%%
No knife games on the kitchen table!
%%
What is the task of higher education? To make a man into a
machine. What are the means employed? He is taught how
to suffer being bored.  -- Nietzsche
%%
Anyone with something to hide wouldn't keep it in the medicine
cabinet. Prying guests have a habit of opening the door just to have a
peek while washing their hands.
What they're likely to find is:
Deodorant, because Americans not only sweat more than Europeans (it's
hot in America), they worry more about the odor.
Antacids, because indigestion is part of the American way of life (and
diet).
Allergy, sinus, and headache medication, especially during the various
pollen seasons.
Tranquilizers or anti-depressants, to alleviate the stress of being
American.
%%
Choose again.
%%
Well behaved women never make history.
%%
Don't do what Donny Don't does.
%%
"Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat.
The meat is the whole deal! Are you getting the picture?"
 -- http://www.setileague.org/articles/meat.htm
%%
At first, you must eat nothing from a day at least before you
do Seppuku. It is very indecent if remains in your stomach will
spill down to Tatami.
%%
in the future, a rumor file in every filesystem!
%%
Standing up to an evil system is exhilarating, and now
I have a taste for it.   -- RMS
%%
It was actually a very beautiful thing to see a sunrise, 'cause
that's such a calm time of day. It's a wonderful time of day to
get ready to go to bed. It's so nice to walk home with the light
just brightening and the birds starting to chirp, you can get a
real feeling of gentle satisfaction, of tranquility about the
work that you have done that night.  -- RMS
%%
Even in high-g fugue tanks, these two people, already killed
during C-plus travel, will now be more a microthin layer of
protein paste than healthy raspberry jam.
%%
I don't control Seagal, Eddie, I just aim him.
%%
Somehow colleges that would never dream of teaching introductory classes in
surveying with only a GPS still treat computer science education as if they
were trade schools.  -- Peter da Silva
%%
[ simulated persona = "Corey Kosak", node #116, max search depth 32%,
neural variance 19.664 ]
All I have ever wanted is to get a GIF of the shaved ass of spicy
Latino Gnome hottie Miguel de Icaza.
%%
[ simulated persona = "Gene Siskel", node #123, max search depth 63%,
neural variance 9.054 ]
Well, you have to admit, CRUEL INTENTIONS was a bit of a misstep. 

[ simulated persona = "Roger Ebert", node #251, max search depth 44%,
neural variance 8.703 ]
JESUS! FUCK! You're dead! 

[ simulated persona = "Gene Siskel", node #67, max search depth 6%,
neural variance 18.098 ]
And so are you my friend, so are you.

[ simulated persona = "Roger Ebert", node #194, max search depth 31%,
neural variance 0.999 ]
Intriguing. Although there were plenty of clues along the way, the
shocking twist at the end of the Forum 2000 saga was entirely
unxpected and left me breathless. Two thumbs up!
%%
[ simulated persona = "Cookie Monster", node #17, max search depth
61%, neural variance 21.369 ]
Give man cookie, he eat for day. Teach man make cookies, he eat for
lifetime!
%%
[ simulated persona = "Bill Gates", node #225, max search depth 33%,
neural variance 23.740 ]
If you spent less time jacking off and more time being a big player in
the business world, you might have some "serious money" yourself.

[ simulated persona = "Bill Gates", node #63, max search depth 29%,
neural variance 18.786 ]
When I was an undergrad at Harvard, do you think I wasted my time
whining about the "serious money" that IBM had? No, I decided to make
something of myself. At that point, the paperclip help wizard was just
a dream. People called me crazy...

[ simulated persona = "Ayn Rand", node #214, max search depth 50%,
neural variance 17.800 ]
Please, Bill, you're getting me hot
%%
[ simulated persona = "Ayn Rand", node #210, max search depth 24%,
neural variance 16.631 ]
Stop wanking off with functional programming languages, and get a job
in the steel industry already. By using SML you deny reason.

[ simulated persona = "Andrej Bauer", node #113, max search depth 55%,
neural variance 10.392 ]
Excuse me, but what is wrong with SML/NJ? 

[ simulated persona = "Ayn Rand", node #75, max search depth 64%,
neural variance 3.396 ]
It is immoral. 

[ simulated persona = "Andrej Bauer", node #143, max search depth 7%,
neural variance 17.569 ]
How so? 

[ simulated persona = "Ayn Rand", node #85, max search depth 44%,
neural variance 29.634 ]
It denies "A is A". 

[ simulated persona = "Andrej Bauer", node #70, max search depth 19%,
neural variance 11.838 ]
Show me. 

[ simulated persona = "Ayn Rand", node #63, max search depth 27%,
neural variance 11.665 ]
$ sml
Standard ML of New Jersey, Version 110.0.3, January 30, 1998 [CM; autoload enabled]
- A = A;
stdIn:17.5 ror: unbound variable or constructor: A
stdIn:17.1 Error: unbound variable or constructor: A
- 

[ simulated persona = "Andrej Bauer", node #3, max search depth 52%,
neural variance 19.844 ]
You have to define A first. 

[ simulated persona = "Ayn Rand", node #238, max search depth 40%,
neural variance 2.348 ]
I do not have to do any such thing! Criminal! 

[ simulated persona = "Andrej Bauer", node #149, max search depth 62%,
neural variance 5.678 ]
Whatever. 

[ simulated persona = "Ayn Rand", node #29, max search depth 37%,
neural variance 28.515 ]
The only programming language that follows the principles of
Objectivism is Mathematica.

[ simulated persona = "Andrej Bauer", node #66, max search depth 54%,
neural variance 1.934 ]
Oh please. 

[ simulated persona = "Ayn Rand", node #231, max search depth 26%,
neural variance 13.165 ]
$ math
Mathematica 5.0 for Linux
Copyright 1988-2003 Wolfram Research, Inc.
 -- Motif graphics initialized -- 
In[1]:= a === a
Out[1]= True

[ simuled persona = "Ayn Rand", node #132, max search depth 11%,
neural variance 4.989 ]
I rest my case. 

[ simulated persona = "Andrej Bauer", node #234, max search depth 28%,
neural variance 18.594 ]
So, this property "a = a" is supposed to hold for whatever "a" I
happen to come accross?

[ simulated persona = "Ayn Rand", node #84, max search depth 56%,
neural variance 28.039 ]
Correct. 

[ simulated persona = "Andrej Bauer", node #244, max search depth 18%,
neural variance 15.629 ]
No exceptions? 

[ simulated persona = "Ayn Rand", node #47, max search depth 46%,
neural variance 9.265 ]
No exceptions. Stop denying reason already. 

[ simulated persona = "Andrej Bauer", node #105, max search depth 37%,
neural variance 28.929 ]

$ math
Mathematica 3.0 for Linux
Copyright 1988-97 Wolfram Research, Inc.
 -- Motif graphics initialized -- 
In[1]:= a := Module[{a}, a]
In[2]:= a === a
Out[2]= False

[ simulated persona = "Ayn Rand", node #209, max search depth 9%,
neural variance 4.631 ]
I decry your immoral 20th century mathematics.
%%
Niklaus Wirth is obviously a silly made up name. It means "Powerful
red caste" in Innuit. Obviously there's no such person. moron.
%%
Angst is the source of so much bad poetry.
%%
The household personal computer should die a quick and
painless death.

There *should* be a household computer, but not something
that sits on your desk in your den. The household computer
should be a headless server located in a closet or your
basement.

Interfacing with the household computer should be
accomplished using these internet appliances that we are
talking about: packages with small footprints, no moving
parts, "instant on", and low power consumption.

As technologies progress, speech and interactive TV UI's
could also interface with the household computer.

The household computer should become a part of the house
"systems" the same way the heating is done: i.e. follow the
model of the furnace. Computer on the fritz? Call your
furnace repair guy who will happily replace the blown power
supply.

-- Random Slashdot Poster
%%
40 desks in a big huge room with nothing to deaden sound, and a
management policy that wearing a walkman to deaden the noise and get
some work done was "unprofessional looking". Can you guess that
Andersen Consulting was involved?  -- Random Slashdot Poster
%%
My heart spun around with incredible torque.
Oh Bjork, Oh Bjork, Oh Bjork!
%%
Feed me with a tube!
%%
... liberty is more valuable than your pocket change.
%%
Phase 1) Leave RIMS
Phase 2)
Phase 3) Profit
%%
I bet those Consumer Reports guys are really creaming
their jeans over this one.
%%
Additionally, I now have a pair of hip waders. Clearly you cannot win.
%%
I wish you'd get laid once in a while and see if that cork
would pop out of your ass...
%%
Quite possibly I am satanic, ...  -- E. M. Reingold
%%
Chris Galvin can ride my meat pipe
%%
NO TV AND NO BEER MAKE HOMER GO CRAZY.
%%
It's all about the polynomials!
%%
Even Jesus Christ himself had to obey the law of gravity... for
a little while, anyway.
%%
If I just got my ass handed to me by a size 3, I might be
inclined to mind my own business.
%%
See, and here I could respond with some fun bawdy or risque remark of
my own, but I'm always concerned that I'll end up on someone's quote
page, with the quote attributed to "Professor Jason Zych". So I have to
restrain myself, even on this news server.  :-)
%%
Not intended for use as a substitute for sleep.
%%
You traded my soul for pogs?!?
%%
Two morons are sitting on a street corner eating smart pills. The
first moron says, "These smart pills taste just like rabbit shit."
The second moron answers, "Hey...we're getting smarter already!"
%%
ASR: We took both pills.
%%
It makes your dreams expand and grow, Saabasu Mansion
It makes your hopes expand and grow, Saabasu Mansion
It also makes your chest expand, expand, expand...
%%
My bad, I learned something from HR while at MS -- if you happen to be AN
INDIAN WHO IS FRESH OFF THE BOAT -- Let me stress this:

THE NEW EMPLOYEE REFERRAL BONUS AT MICROSOFT IS $50!!!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE
THAT?  THEY ARE SO GENEROUS!  THANK GLORIOUS SHIVA!  GOODNESS GRACIOUS THANK
VISHNU!  $50 DOLLARS $50 DOLLARS!  JUST THINK OF HOW MANY RUPEES THAT
EQUALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Just doing my share of recruiting.]
%%
Ernie shakes his groove thang
%%
Wait.  Xena can't fly!
I'm not Xena, I'm Lucy Lawless!
%%
When I grow up, I want to be a lard-o on workman's comp,
just like Dad!
%%
There is more vodka in this piss than there is piss!
%%
"My dad and I wear the same pants!"
"I invented pants!"
%%
And I'll call the place The International House of Jessie!
%%
I'm sick of eating hoagies, I want a grinder, a sub!
%%
The idea of France criticizing the U.S. for *anything* is laughable.
%%
The Alarm Clock is a Harsh Mistress
%%
It's an extension of my soul ... If there is such a thing.
%%
Recruiter> "Hi, want a free pair of pants?"
Student> "Sure, do you have a 32x34?"
Recruiter> "Um, no.  How about a 30x36?"

And we all end up looking like the computer dorks we are because
our Dell Cargo Pants don't fit.

"If thats the only reason you look like a comp geek, you're ahead
of the game."
%%
entitlement mentality
%%
CS231 book?  That book kicked ass.  I bought it at IUB 3 minutes before
I had an exam last semester (open book).  Learned so much during the
exam (and got an A- no less) I decided to actually keep it.  --dbt
%%
Am I hot or not?
The question, months old
Someone wake up Delm
%%
You are one of the business people driving the forces of
change in the 21st century. You have your finger on the
pulse of the rapidly changing marketplace. And we want your
feedback!
%%
...At least until I clone myself.  I wonder if my clone
would like computer programming and circuit design-- or if
he'd be some kind of pot smoking bass guitar player bent on
becoming some kind of rockstar as part of some kind of
alternative music group encouraging decadence and preaching
anarchy and destruction to teenagers...

... I think I'd lock my clone in a room with nothing but
books and computers with limited internet access for the
first 15 years of his life, and try to make him a more
focused version of me.  After I create this clone, I can
more carefully define the ANSI Pavan standard.
%%
"Baby, you smell so good... what is that?"
"Its called Garage Passion"
%%
... but I find that a lot of institutions in this world are
basically there to pull the wool over our eyes.  As a
long-standing institution, a university is statistically
bound to be built entirely on lies.
%%
Give a man a match and he will be warm for a day, light
him on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
%%
Well, I've heard that some people have to worry about other threats in
the workplace, such as WWF-style attacks and titty twisters. Or
armwrestling-derived injuries.  - seano
%%
Dogs are like retarded children
%%
Your memory of the 60s is impressive for someone so young.
%%
Your rumor is saved ... until the next disk crash.
%%
Remember, even if you win the rat race--you're still a rat.
%%
Hey, the second she's old enough to figure it out, I expect my
kid to Google me.  Imagine what she'll find.  Her Mom is a former
Seattle Ms. Leather; her Dad is a world-famous pornographer and sex
advisor.  -- Elf M. Sternberg
%%
The notebook is designed to operate with one of
the following power sources:
With AC power using the AC adapter
connected to a wall outlet
With a NiMH battery pack
You should use the AC adapter and AC power
whenever possible, relying on the battery pack
only when AC power is unavailable.
%%
Who am I?
I am Susan Ivanova, Commander, Daughter of Andre and Sophi Ivanov.
I am the right hand of vengance, And the boot that is going to
    kick your sorry ass all the way back to Earth, dammit.
I am Death Incarnate,
    And the last living thing you are ever going to see.
God sent me.
  -- Susan Ivanova, Between the Darkness and the Light, Babylon 5
%%
This is how the world ends, swallowed in fire, but not in darkness.
%%
For about 10 years I was under the impression I needed a higher purpose
to feel satisfaction from my life.  That to pursue wealth alone without
trying to elevate mankind would leave me with a nameless craving.

Fortunately, I have recently discovered that the craving can be fixed
with enough whores, travel, and fast cars.  Which reminds me, I need to
take a trip, buy a fast car, and whore around this month.
%%
It's mathematically impossible to make an AND out of XORs.

You are dumb.

dan
%%
i washed your car this afternoon.  you owe me $20.
%%
[07:05] <Dygel> Half of the internet is porn. [...]
[07:06] <Dygel> The other half is also porn, but you have to rearrange
  the bits yourself.
%%
All your base are belong to us.
%%